


Crossroads

by Bellobelle



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:15:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellobelle/pseuds/Bellobelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Your wife," Morgana said loudly, "And your best friend. One of them must die." She turned back to Arthur with glee. "You get to choose which one."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crossroads

The attack was so quick and so sudden that Gwen barely had time to scream before a hand was clamped over her mouth and a cloth shoved between her teeth. She felt herself being torn from her mount and tumbled to the ground in the arms of some horrid-smelling man, thrashing her arms and legs the whole way down. 

She was able to catch a glimpse of the knights running in every direction, of Arthur being grabbed, and of Merlin running towards him, before a blindfold made Gwen’s world go dark and she was hauled away. 

She was tossed into a cart, landing quite painfully on top of her bound hands, and there were two heavy bodies being thrown in after her. She tried to make a sound around the gag, but all that came out was a strangled groan and a thin line of drool. 

There was a groan in response, and a grunt. It was enough to tell Gwen that it was Arthur with her in the cart, and what sounded like Merlin as well. She relaxed, despite her bonds, in the knowledge that Arthur and Merlin were alive and with her. 

They lay there for some long time before the cart jerked to a stop and Gwen was pulled out and to her feet, a rough hand pushing her back and forcing her to walk. 

Her footsteps started to echo, and the air became cold and damp. It made Gwen shiver with anxiety. She had no way of knowing which caves she was entering. Caves can be like labyrinths if one isn’t familiar with them, and she could easily get lost, making escape less and less likely.

Finally a hand bunching in the fabric of her dress made her stop, and she held still as her hands were lifted high above her head and tied tightly to the wall. 

The blindfold was lifted, and Gwen blinked as her eyes adjusted to the scene before her. 

She was in a cavern, the size of Camelot’s council chambers and almost completely circular. It was dome shaped, the ceiling high with stalactites hanging down like dragon’s teeth. The floor was smooth and paved, a mosaic of tiles swirling out from the center in which a great fire burned, giving off the only eerie light in room. The men who had captured them left through an opening in the wall leading to a dark corridor.

To Gwen’s left, Merlin was chained in the same position as her, and to her right was her husband. She caught his eye, trying to tell him “it’s alright” with her eyes.

“King Arthur Pendragon,” A voice rang out, and Gwen’s eyes widened in the direction of the sound. The voice was clear, and feminine, and very familiar. 

Out of the shadows stepped a figure dressed in black, a smirk on her lips and a swagger in her step. 

“I’m so glad you made it,” Morgana said, addressing Arthur with a smirk. “Do you like my new place? It belonged to the High Priestesses, so it was gifted to me. This was once a place for the Priestesses to perform rituals and sacrifices.”

Her grin turned nasty, sending a jolt of fear through Gwen’s heart. 

“They would take their enemies here, chain them up, just like you are now,” Morgana continued, reaching out to press her finger into the center of Arthur’s chest. “They would keep them here, and torture them, do whatever it took to get what they wanted. They knew exactly what it took to break their prisoners down.”

Gwen darted her eyes to the left for just enough time to catch Merlin’s eye. He too was gagged, and was glaring at Morgana touching Arthur as though he could somehow annihilate her with his gaze alone. When Merlin met Gwen’s eyes, they shared a look of mutual fear for Arthur’s safety. 

“I know exactly how to break you, Arthur,” Morgana said. She pressed her finger harder against Arthur’s chest, her fingernail digging into his flesh. Arthur winced, his breaths becoming harsh and audible above the crackling of the fire. 

“That’s why I’m going to give you the chance to give me what I want right away, and I’ll kill you quickly.” Arthur held her gaze, and Gwen strangled out a moan of protest. 

“I loved you once, you know,” Morgana said, “You were like my brother. I know you well enough to get what I want out of you.”

Her expression darkened. “Hand over the crown. Bow down to me and recognize me as the true Queen of Camelot. Do you accept?”

Gwen watched with bated breath as Arthur did nothing. He simply watched Morgana, hatred radiating from his eyes. 

“Very well then,” Morgana said, withdrawing her finger and taking a step back. “Here is what will happen if you do not accept.”

She turned around suddenly, so that Gwen was filled with the desire to run, as far and as fast as she could. 

“Your wife,” Morgana said loudly, “And your best friend. One of them must die.” She looked over her shoulder at Arthur with glee. “You get to choose which one.”

Gwen saw Merlin’s eyes narrow, and Gwen herself felt her own heart stop. Of course Morgana would choose this to break Arthur. It is widely known that Arthur’s fatal flaw is his heart, how dearly he cares for those around him. Of course Morgana would make him choose between his wife and his dearest, closest friend. 

Before today, Gwen hadn’t hated Morgana. She had felt sorry for her, and mourned the loss of her friend and felt anguish over what had become of Morgana, but hatred was never something that crossed Gwen’s mind. Now, as she watched Arthur’s face fall, Gwen felt a loathing in her heart greater than any she had ever known. 

Morgana tore the gag from Arthur’s mouth with a flourish, allowing Arthur to speak.

“You can’t do this, Morgana, please, they’ve done nothing wrong--”

“I can, and I will do this,” Morgana said, “Choose one of them, dear brother.”

“I won’t,” Arthur said, his eyes switching desperately from Merlin to Gwen. 

Morgana smiled. “If you don’t choose, they will both die,” She purred, “So I suggest you make your choice.”

“I’d rather die.”

“Oh, you’re going to die anyway,” Morgana said smoothly, “And if you die before you choose, then the two of them will die as well. I’m giving you a chance to save one of them. You should be grateful.”

“You expect me to be grateful!”

“You expect me to be kind?” 

A heavy silence hung in the air after that, with Morgana smirking at Arthur and Arthur staring at her before turning his gaze on Merlin and Gwen, one right after the other.

Gwen looked back at him, trying not to look too scared. Whatever happened, Arthur would feel devastated, she knew that. She tried to make herself look braver than she felt, so that maybe Arthur would feel a little less guilty. Across the room, Merlin was doing the same.

Gwen didn’t want to die, but she couldn’t bear the thought of Merlin dying either. He was her best friend, and she knew that she would have difficulty choosing between her husband and Merlin. She had come to love him, in the way one loved a friend, fiercely and wholeheartedly. 

Gwen knew that Arthur felt the same for Merlin, though he rarely showed it. Gwen may be his wife, but Merlin was his confidant, and though the word “love” might never fall from Arthur’s lips to describe his relationship with Merlin, Gwen was certain it was there. 

An image stirred in Gwen’s memory of Arthur’s stricken face, years ago when Merlin drank from his goblet, not knowing whether it would be poisoned but taking the risk anyway. Back when Gwen had harbored a small crush on Merlin that had since changed to friendship, Arthur had been testing the extent of his care. 

If Arthur could sacrifice himself to save both of them, he would. It was one of the many reasons why Gwen loved him so. He had told her on their wedding night that he would do anything for her, would run through the darkest depths of hell for her, and she believed him without a hint of doubt. 

“Choose wisely,” Morgana said, “If you don’t I’ll be forced to choose which one I should kill first. Don’t worry, I won’t kill you until you’ve watched both of them die.”

Arthur growled. “You’ve got no quarrel with them, Morgana. Let them go and take me, I’m the one you want, isn’t it?”

Morgana scoffed. “The peasant who stole my throne and the other who keeps standing in my way. I’ve got every reason to want them dead.”

“Take me,” Arthur pleaded, verging on hysteria, “Kill me and let them go, please, Morgana, please.”

“You’re begging,” Morgana simpered, “How cute. The great Arthur Pendragon, pleading for mercy. If only Uther could see the way his son has been disgraced.”

“The same way he saw what became of his daughter--”

“I was never Uther’s daughter!” Morgana screeched, “Uther Pendragon was slime, just like you. I will put an end to your reign. Choose.” 

Morgana turned from him and held both her hands out, one stretching toward Merlin and one toward Gwen. 

Gwen’s pulse echoed in her ears in the two seconds of silence before Morgana squeezed her fingers into fists and pain raced through her whole body, beginning in her fingertips and shooting like a thousand arrows down her arms, into her chest and torso and down her legs. 

She screamed and writhed on the wall. 

One time, when Gwen was very little, she got too close to her father while he forged a sword. Her father had been so focused on bringing the hammer down again and again on the glowing blade that he didn’t notice his daughter leaning in close to look at the sparks flying off the metal like dancing fairies. They were deceiving in the way they danced towards her, the pretty embers coming closer and closer, until her father hit the sword too hard and they sprayed across Gwen’s face. They burned her skin and she fell back, screaming, clutching at her face. The scars eventually faded into freckles. 

As Gwen grew older, she remembered that day as the greatest pain she had ever felt. What was happening now, as Morgana worked her magic, was a thousand times worse.

It went on, and on, until Gwen’s throat was raw from screaming and her lips were slippery with saliva where it had escaped around her gag. 

When it stopped she sagged, her bound hands the only thing holding her up. Heaving, she lifted her eyes to see Morgana grinning at her her fingers once again standing straight. 

“Poor Guinevere,” Morgana crooned. “That must have been so painful. Surely, Arthur, you cannot bear to see that happen to your wife?”

“Guinevere,” Arthur said, his voice low and shaking. Gwen met his eyes. 

“Or I could be mistaken,” Morgana went on, “Perhaps you care for Merlin more.”

With that, she clenched the hand that was extended to Merlin. Immediately Merlin began to convulse, his limbs twitching and going taught. He threw his head back, his eyes screwed shut in agony, the muscles of his face clenched and the tendons in his neck standing out. 

Gwen felt the phantom pain spark through her again as she watched Merlin writhe. Arthur was yelling, a string of “No”s and “Please”s.

Morgana straightened her fingers and Merlin’s taught limbs went limp, leaving him hanging on the wall like a rag on a hook.

“Look at them. They’re both so pitiful. Which one would you rather put out of their misery?”

Arthur cursed Morgana. She only laughed.

"You’re not in a very good position to say such things,” She said, dropping her hands and approaching Arthur once more. “You’re the one tied and bound to a wall.”

Morgana snapped her fingers, and both Gwen and Merlin cried out as another jolt of pain spread through them, lasting only for a second until it was gone again. 

“Which one do you love most?” Morgana whispered, her words echoing harshly around the great cavern.

“I…” Arthur said, looking frantically from Merlin to Gwen to Merlin again. “I can’t--”

“Pick one or they both die,” Morgana said. 

The fire crackled and spat, making the room glow gold. It cast dark shadows across the floor, dancing black shapes that flickered like demons on the walls, their hands reaching out to grab only to withdraw again before they could.

Gwen watched as the second grew, her heart pounding and stopping, pounding and stopping, waiting for Arthur’s response.

None came. Morgana smirked. “Very well then.”

She turned and faced Gwen and Merlin contemplatively. “The both of you have been such a pain in my side,” She mused, “I’ll enjoy killing you. But which one should I kill first?” She smiled. “I think…”

Her eyes flashed gold in Merlin’s direction, and he began to scream. Gwen shrieked as she watched, a muffled “No!” escaping around her gag. 

Merlin’s skin split as though blades were slashing him, the flesh cut in clean, straight lines. They tore open his arms and criss-crossed his cheeks. Blood erupted from them, covering his clothes and splattering the tiled floor in front of him.

“Stop!” Arthur roared. “Don’t hurt him!” 

Immediately the gold in Morgana’s eyes disappeared and her hands dropped, as she looked over her shoulder. “Is that a choice?”

“You can’t kill Merlin,” Arthur panted, “You can’t.”

“Interesting decision, Arthur,” Morgana said, “I was sure you’d pick Gwen. She is, after all, your wife.”

She turned to look at Gwen. “Did you hear that, Guinevere? Your own husband doesn’t love you as much as he loves his servant. What a terrible revelation this must be for you.”

Gwen narrowed her eyes at Morgana, channeling as much hatred as she could into her gaze. 

Morgana smiled at her before striding over to Merlin and reaching up to remove the gag from his mouth. 

“Your king loves you,” Morgana crooned to him, “I suggest you run far, far away from here so that you don’t have to watch him die.”

“Arthur, don’t do this,” Merlin said, ignoring Morgana in favor of talking over her shoulder. “Save Gwen, you’ve got to save Gwen--”

“I can’t let you die,” Arthur said, sounding wretched and utterly broken.

“You can’t let her die either,” Merlin said, “She’s your wife, Arthur.”

“And you’re my--”

“Don’t,” Merlin said, “Don’t.”

Arthur looked at Gwen. “I’m sorry,” He said, “Guinevere…”

“You two sound like a pair of lovers,” Morgana said. Gwen held Arthur’s gaze, her eyes widening when neither Arthur nor Merlin denied what Morgana just said.

“Unless…” Morgana said, dawning realization in her voice, and suddenly her voice became horrendously gleeful, “The two of you! The king and his manservant!”

She laughed, then, looking between her three prisoners. “Arthur, you hypocrite. You speak of honor and nobility, yet you’ve been sneaking around behind your wife’s back.”

Gwen still didn’t look at Morgana, too busy staring at her husband. It isn’t true, it can’t be, she thought desperately. This is one of Morgana’s tricks, a mere mind game, nothing more. 

Arthur loves me, she thought. He wouldn’t do such a thing. 

Even though Arthur had no gag in his mouth, he said nothing as he held Gwen’s gaze. On his face was only misery.

Gwen reeled, turning her head to Merlin, who hung bloodied and breathing heavily. He returned her look, and his face was the same. He lowered his eyes to the floor. 

“For shame,” Morgana said, “To betray your friend in such a terrible way. I wouldn’t have expected it from you. How long have you been doing this?”

“I have nothing to say to you, Morgana.”

“Then say it to Gwen,” Morgana said, “She deserves to know, does she not?”

Merlin said nothing. Gwen wasn’t sure whether she was grateful or not. For her, this was as good as a confession.

“Oh come now Merlin, your secret’s out.” 

“That’s not the only secret I’ve kept.” 

“Oh?”

Merlin lifted his head, and something had changed in his expression. Where there had been shame and guilt and desperation only moments before was now anger and loathing. 

There was a sudden loud bang as Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, just like Morgana’s had, and Morgana was flung backwards, soaring through the air to crash against the stone wall and crumple to the floor. 

“You!” Morgana cried once she had collected herself, pointing an accusing finger in Merlin’s direction. “You have magic! All this time!” 

“And I use it for good,” Merlin said, “Not for my own personal gain.”

Morgana only gaped, apparently rendered speechless by this unexpected revelation. Several emotions flashed across her face, from dislike to anger to what looked like hurt.

Then she screamed and raised her hand, but before she could utter any sort of spell Merlin’s eyes flashed gold. Morgana’s head jerked violently to the side with the force of Merlin’s magic, and the sound of her spine cracking was loud in Gwen’s ears. Morgana crumpled to the ground and was still. 

The fire in the center of the room went out, sending the world into darkness. Gwen’s head spun with everything that had just happened, her breathing harsh and heavy and loud. She felt suffocated. 

There was a scuffling, and for a panic-stricken moment Gwen thought Morgana had somehow come back to life. Footsteps ran past her to where Arthur was, and then she soon felt hands working at her bonds. As soon as her hands were free, she collapsed against whoever had untied her. 

Arms closed around her immediately, holding her tight against a firm chest, a chest she knew well. Arthur’s. 

The gag was pulled from Gwen’s mouth. She opened her mouth, but found, to her surprise, that she had no words. Instead she emitted a sob.

“Guinevere, it’s me,” Arthur said, sounding close in the darkness.

Gwen found her footing and took a hasty step backwards. 

“Gwen…”

He trailed off, allowing her to speak first. 

What could she say? She wanted to reach out to him, to offer words of comfort, but he had betrayed her. He had conducted an affair behind her back, had lied to her in the most heinous of ways. Her heart longed to hold him, but the rest of her wanted to reach out and slap him.

“I can’t see,” She said. She winced as soon as the words were out, since her throat was raw from the screaming. Her voice sounded alien.

A light suddenly appeared, a blue, shimmering sphere that hung in the air above their heads. 

Below it, the light made the cuts on Merlin’s face stand out in startling clarity. The blood was dark against the skin that wasn’t marked, made to glow under the ethereal light. 

“This way,” Merlin said, unable to meet Gwen’s eyes. The light bobbed and floated down an opening in the wall, past were Morgana lay motionless. 

“Is she…”

“She’s dead.” There was little emotion in Merlin’s words.

Merlin started to walk, and without looking at her husband, Gwen followed him.

They followed the light through a labyrinth of tunnels, and Gwen wondered if Merlin’s magic was somehow helping him navigate. The light dissolved as soon as light from the sun appeared, and the three of them emerged from the mouth of the cave and into the woods. 

It was still light out, but the sun was setting, the land readying itself for night.

When they were out of the cave, Merlin turned and lifted his hand. He whispered some words that Gwen didn’t catch, and she jumped as the mouth of the cave rumbled, then collapsed, sealing it off for good. Gwen thought of Morgana’s body, forever inside this cave that was now her tomb.

They started walking. For hours they didn’t speak. The only sounds were of twigs snapping beneath their feet. 

Merlin was in front, with Gwen following him and Arthur in the back. Gwen kept her eyes on the ground in front of her. 

She couldn’t speak to either of them, even though she knew she would have to. They had all but confirmed their love affair, that much was plain. She wondered how many lies she had been told, of where Arthur had been or why Merlin was in their chambers when he had the evening off. 

It was so obvious, now that Gwen thought of it, and she cursed herself for not seeing it before. 

Her heart ached as she thought of Arthur. He had been with Merlin all this time, perhaps even taken him to bed in what was supposed to be Arthur and Gwen’s wedding bed. 

How many kisses had been lies? How many touches and declarations of love had been untrue?

Before her, Merlin’s shoulders were slumped in what could only be shame. Gwen scowled and kept walking.

They walked until it became too dark, and they found a clearing where they could stop for the night. They had nothing but the clothes on their backs, and Gwen despaired to think of spending the night in the cold, before she remembered the other secret that had been revealed. 

It took almost no time at all for Merlin to have a fire roaring in the center of the clearing, and the three of them huddled around it. Their eyes flickered from one to the other nervously. 

It was Arthur who finally broke the silence. “Guinevere,” he said, before clearing his throat and continuing. “What Morgana said about Merlin and I…”

“Is it true?” Gwen interrupted, half hoping it wasn’t. 

Arthur cast a look at Merlin, which was all Gwen needed. 

“It is,” Arthur said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Anger and hurt welled up inside of her, as she stared hard at her husband who was staring at the fire.

“Merlin,” She addressed him as regally as possible, not looking at him. “I think I’d like a moment alone with my husband.”

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Merlin nod and get to his feet, hastily retreating until she could no longer hear his footsteps.

She spent a moment to stare at Arthur before she spoke. 

“You love him?”

Arthur nodded.

“How long?”

“How long what?”

“How long have you two been lovers?”

Arthur met her eyes. “Four years, give or take.”

Gwen inhaled deeply, trying to quell her emotion. “Four years,” she repeated, “You were lovers even before we were married.”

Arthur said nothing.

“Yet you married me anyway.”

Still Arthur said nothing.

“Answer me,” She commanded.

“Camelot needed a queen,” He said quietly.

Gwen’s heart broke. “Did you ever love me?”

“I did,” Arthur said, “I still do.”

Gwen raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Just because I love him does not mean I cannot love you as well. I love you, Guinevere, truly.”

Gwen’s eyes burned. “When you found me with Lancelot the day before our wedding” --Arthur winced visibly-- “You were so angry. You were hurt, yet you feel it’s alright for you to do the same to me?”

Arthur hung his head in shame. “I’m a fool, I know. You cannot understand how sorry I am.”

“I understand,” Gwen said fiercely, “I understand quite well. When I betrayed you I was sorry I had ever been born, the pain was so great. But I didn’t love Lancelot, not in the way you love Merlin.”

Arthur’s head remained bowed. He looked more like a boy than a king. 

“Have you taken him to bed?”

“Yes."

“Our bed?”

“Yes.”

“Have you promised yourself to him?”

“No.” Arthur looked up again. “Merlin isn’t stupid. He knows I am yours.”

“Then why conduct the affair?”

“Because...because I love him. He loves me.”

Gwen shook her head. Her eyes burned with tears but she refused to let them fall. She held herself straight, threw her shoulders back, and regarded Arthur with a cold glare. 

“Does my love mean nothing to you?”

“No! Gwen,” Arthur said, his eyes turning wide, “Don’t ever say that. Your love means everything to me. You cannot possibly imagine how much I love you.”

“Yet you still love him more than me.”

Arthur’s jaw worked, as though he was chewing on his response.

“This is where you decide,” Gwen told him, “Me or Merlin. You cannot have both.”

Arthur winced, no doubt remembering the screams of both Gwen and Merlin as they were tortured by Morgana’s magic in front of his eyes. 

“I love you, Arthur,” Gwen said, for a moment allowing herself to crack. “But I cannot be with you if you continue to betray me like this. You must choose.”

“How can I?”

“Choose which one of us you love most,” Gwen said. “It’s your choice. If you choose me, I’ll stay by your side as your wife. If you choose Merlin, I will remain as your queen, because for me to step down would cause controversy among the people. They would question it and your reputation would be ruined. So I will remain as your queen, but I will no longer think of you as my husband.”

There, she thought, that was merciful. The people needn’t ever know about Arthur’s affair.

“What about Merlin?”

“He can do what he wishes,” Gwen said coolly. “If you choose me I will not banish him. He’s a good friend, after all. He saved my life, and he saved my husband’s.”

Arthur sighed.

“Did you know about his magic, too?”

Arthur nodded. 

Gwen stood. “I’m going to bed. You can give me your answer in the morning.”

Her skirts were already torn and muddy and ruined, but she smoothed them anyway, before retreating a small distance away and lying down, pillowing her head on her arms. 

“Good night, Guinevere.”

Gwen didn’t respond. She curled around her broken heart and lay there until she fell asleep.

She woke to see Arthur sitting by the fire while Merlin slept a short distance away, jacket pulled tight around him.

He looked like the Merlin she always knew, skinny and kind. He was more than that, she’d always known, but only now did she realize how different he truly was than what she thought. 

She shifted, her neck and arms sore from sleeping on the hard ground all night. As soon as Arthur noticed her, he was at her side, offering his hand.

Gwen eyed it, then looked up at him, quirking her brow into a question. Arthur simply held his hand out to her, and slowly Gwen reached out and took it, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. 

“Good morning,” She said, watching his eyes carefully. 

Slowly, so slowly, the hand that wasn’t gripping Gwen’s came to wrap around her waist, drawing her closer to him. 

He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, chaste. 

When Gwen next opened her eyes, she looked over Arthur’s shoulder and saw Merlin, still lying on the ground but with his eyes open, blinking awake unto the sight of Gwen and Arthur. The scars from the day before stood dark and ugly on his cheeks.

She caught his eye, and he stared for just a moment before he rose, his mouth twitching. He bowed to her, a brief duck of the head, before he went to kick out the fire. 

Three months later found Guinevere standing beside her husband on the battlements, watching as the first flakes of snow began to fall from the sky. 

**

It had been a slow day at council, with only a few peasants coming in with problems. Months ago, Gwen reflected, this would mean she and Arthur would use this free time to retire to their private chambers. Now they simply stood side by side, not touching one another, not looking at one another, and not speaking. 

Gwen shivered and drew her cloak more securely around herself, fisting her gloves in the fabric.

“You’re cold,” Arthur observed. Gwen nodded.

“Yes.” 

“I’ll get a servant to draw a hot bath for you.”

“That’s very kind, thank you sire.”

“You don’t need to call me that, Guinevere.”

Gwen sucked in a breath, still looking out over Camelot. “Of course, my lord.”

She heard Arthur sigh beside her. “I’ll go see about that bath.”

Gwen nodded, and was soon left alone. She was alone a lot these days. 

It wasn’t long before footsteps approached and there was another presence beside her.

“My lady, it’s cold out. You should get somewhere warm.”

Gwen smiled as she recognized the voice of Sir Leon. As of late, he was the only person who could bring a genuine smile to her face. She sometimes wondered at that.

“I wanted to get some fresh air,” She told him.

He huffed a small snort of amusement. “The council chambers can get stuffy, especially on a day as tedious as today.”

He smiled at her, soft and kind. “Was that the king I saw just leaving?” 

“It was,” Gwen said, her face hardening at the reminder. She looked back out over Camelot, her eyes sticking to the horizon.

“Is there something the matter, my lady?” Leon asked. He didn’t sound intrusive, simply curious, and respectfully so. 

An ache twinged in Gwen’s chest. How could she begin to explain everything? She couldn’t, she was the Queen for the gods’ sake, and therefore was expected to handle everything with grace and discretion. Situations such as hers couldn’t be confided in with anyone else.

“Nothing is wrong, Sir Leon.”

“Forgive me for sounding as though I’m prying, but you look unhappy.”

The corner of Gwen’s mouth twitched. She glanced at him, then back out. Then again, Leon wasn’t just ‘everyone else,’ was he? She grew up with him, had known him all her life. She could trust him.

“Imagine, for a moment, that you’re in love,” Gwen started, not daring to meet Leon’s eye, “But the person you love is in love with someone else.”

Leon was silent, and Gwen wondered if maybe he hadn’t really cared that much. He certainly hadn’t been expecting her to say something like that.

“Alright,” He said, slowly. “Then what?”

Gwen fiddled with the fastenings on her gloves. “Imagine, then, that the person you love chose you after all, but you can’t help but notice that they’re unhappy, even though they tell you they’re content. They don’t talk to you, and they aren’t passionate when they touch you at night...” She stopped herself, cheeks burning as she realized she’d revealed far more than she’d meant to. She lifted her eyes to his. “What would you do?”

Leon’s lips were pressed together, considering the situation. 

“I would talk to them,” He said finally, “And ask them who they truly would want to be with. If that person isn’t me, I’d let them go.”

“You would?” Gwen asked, “Even if it would hurt?”

“It would hurt more knowing you were causing them pain,” Leon said with a shrug. 

“And that would be worth giving them up?”

Leon gave her a small, half smile. “Believe it or not, my lady, I’ve been in a similar situation to the one that you describe.”

Gwen’s eyebrows rose. “Really?”

He nodded. “The woman I love chose someone else, and she has a good life. I choose not to interfere. It’s better that way.”

His eyes never left hers. Gwen considered him, gazing intently back at him.

“You’re a good man, Leon,” She said finally. 

“You’re very kind.”

“I can trust you. I’ve always been able to trust you. My entire life you’ve been a loyal friend, even when I was just a serving girl. You were always there.”

“I’ve always cared a great deal for you.”

Gwen deliberated for a moment, before reaching over and placing her hand over Leon’s where it rested on the parapet. “And I for you, too. Thank you, Leon.” 

She smiled at him, squeezing his fingers. His face was becoming red behind his beard, though whether it was because of embarrassment or the chill she couldn’t tell. 

“You’re right, it is cold,” She said eventually. “We should go somewhere warm.” 

“I can escort you inside, if you like?” Leon said, offering his arm. 

Gwen nodded. “That would be lovely, thank you.” She wrapped her hands around his arm, and together they made their way inside the castle. 

Leon was comforting and solid at her side, present in a way that Arthur hadn’t been the last three months. In fact, Gwen reflected, Leon had always been that way, there for her in times of need, gentlemanly and kind in every situation. When they were young, when he was a knight in training and she was a serving girl, he had been protective of her despite their difference in station.

He was right, Gwen decided. She would have to talk to Arthur soon, to make it clear what would make everyone happy. Perhaps she could talk to him that very evening, and sort everything out. 

Arthur had been so distant lately, but true to his promise he and Merlin hadn’t been together. It was noble of him, but it clearly was not what he wanted. She saw the way his eyes lingered whenever Merlin was in the room, the short and almost awkward way he made love to Gwen at night. 

Perhaps it would be for the best if Gwen told him he could have Merlin after all. It would make him happy. 

Leon and Gwen reached a part of the castle where two hallways intersected, knight’s chambers on one end and royal chambers on the other. 

“I suppose I shall leave you here, my lady,” Leon said. 

“Yes,” Gwen replied, but neither of them made any move to disentangle their arms. 

They looked at each other, and a long moment passed before they finally stepped apart. 

“Good day, Guinevere,” Leon said with a low bow.

“Good day.” 

Leon turned and Gwen watched him walk away, letting him go all of four steps before she called out to him again.

“Sir Leon!”

He looked back at her. “Yes?”

“The woman you love,” She said, suddenly unsure, “I hope...I know you will be happy with her one day.”

Leon’s face betrayed no hurt or even surprise. He only gave a small smile. “Thank you, my lady.”

Gwen smiled and ducked her head. 

“Good day, Sir Leon.”

This time she was the one to turn. She felt his eyes on her the whole time she walked away.


End file.
